Blue Paper Clothes

 "I dont know a perfect person. I only know flawed people who are still worth loving."  - John Green 

Last night I totaled my car. The car that Ive had since high school.

Nothing dishevels you like waking up crashing into a pole.

****

"Well life has a funny way of sneaking up on you

when you think everything's okay

and everything's going right..."

Today has been filled with nothing but doctor visits involving strange men poking my bones.

Sitting in cold rooms in nothing but blue paper clothes.

Goose-bump ridden skin. Fragile within.

This is life telling you to breathe.

Lets check your C-spine. Lets check your L-spine.

Stand with your back real straight, Now turn; turn; turn.. there just right.

Take a deep breathe, let it out slow.

Snap Snap Snap. Perfect, only five more to go.

Dangling pale legs off the cold steel bed

it could've been worse, I could be dead

Staring at my hands, my fingers, my bones

Realizing the fragility of me, in those blue paper clothes.

My car is gone, it's totaled for sure

My mind is flooded with thoughts of this sudden detour

Breathe; breathe; you brilliant girl, just breathe

You're too smart, too brave, too rare to recede

With no mode of transportation, its easy to feel trapped

But its time to move forward. Adjust. Adapt.

Blue paper clothes, and as closed to naked as I could be.

My back is so sore, I have no car, but I have me and thats all I need.

"...And life has a funny way of helping you out 

when you think everything's gone wrong

 and everything blows up in your face" 

 - Alanis Morissette

****

Today my radiologist technician gave me 'dap' over both being of the July Cancer Sign babies, and for the ability of possessing empathic abilities. And the crazy energies we pick up constantly from other people, but how it makes you feel like a weirdo because no one understands.
When I meet people like this, I feel like the universe giving me little check-in points, telling me Im on the right track, even when things suck.